Who I Was & Who I Am

What I wanted at 25 is a far cry from what I want at almost 40. Not saying that it “wasn’t what I truly wanted,” actually, it was…at least it was then. I stumbled upon a mentor and took his advice…and it made me into the person…no…it made me into the professional I am today. But here I am…almost 40, having achieved a lot in my late-twenties and thirties…only to discover that I no longer want what I used to want. What I want now is a blend of everything I’ve experienced – love, highs and lows, vacations, and experiences. This is the present – and it’s perfectly created by a flawed, yet experienced, individual. 

´╗┐And Then I Woke Up

After a slew of let downs, I can’t deny that my outlook has been a bit bleak. I want so terribly to believe in myself…my future…my goals…but let downs can yield a devastating blow. Then I woke up. Literally. I woke this morning knowing that let downs aren’t going to stop me from pursuing, and achieiving, my goals. Same goes for you…I’m by your side. 

Meditation & Marijuana

There really isn’t a better combination than meditation & marijuana…actually, it’s the other way around. Anyway, I got to thinking about just how wonderful life would be if we could walk outside and love Nature so much that we nurtured and cared for her as much as we care for ourselves and our families. We would protect her and the love between us would go on forever. Then I wrote the following –

Thoughts on Inspiration

They…whoever “they” are…say that inspiration can strike anywhere at any time. I say, hog wash! The only place I find inspiration is when my mind is at ease, at rest, and very much in the present. I observe things differently in these states. I have found these moments when sober…but they are fleeting and seem forgettable. Enter marijuana. It’s not what so many naysayers think it is…it eases my mind and body, releases me from the shackles of my reality, and allows me to dream! It is instant inspiration, instant imagination, but most of all, instant peace of mind…which is simply priceless. 

This is Blowing My Mind

Just saw a post on History.com’s Facebook page about a newly discovered planet, similar to earth, only a few light years away. I like astronomy…at times I’m fascinated by it…but not enough to really geek out on it. Not that this wouldn’t be pretty mind blowing when sober…but I am presently stoned and just can’t begin to tell you how my mind is trying to wrap itself around the number of miles contained in a “light year.” Holy. Fuck. 


A Chance Encounter

I recently met a man who emailed me through Facebook. I figured he was just trying to get to know me…then I realized something greater. Within 2 minutes of our chat, he told me he was a woman trapped in a man’s body and was debating transitioning from man to woman. My reply was simply, “I am a huge proponent of people doing whatever it is that makes them happy.” We chatted about this and that, then he admitted to wanting to look like a certain celebrity from the 70s. She is indeed beautiful…but I couldn’t help but reply, “She’s beautiful…but I think you should be you…that is the most beautiful.”

That got me thinking. How many of us want to “be” someone else? Some people take admiration and mentorship beyond what it is meant to do…build them into an even better version of themselves. They don’t realize how they minimalze their experience in this reality by actually wanting to be someone else. I do understand the “what would it be like to be so-and-so”…but truly, this experience of “the self” is so unique…please don’t waste a minute on not wanting to be you