The paragraph below is just a snapshot of how freely my mind can perceive a moment after smoking marijuana. Perhaps it’s not the most eloquent, perhaps it’s not my best, but what matters is that I was in the moment. Almost simultaneously, I realized that we all have choices. We can experience all kinds of emotions – fear, anger, happiness, love, and everything in between. However, when using marijuana, at least for me, I am reduced to two emotions – panic or love. I believe that marijuana is a tool to help us expose ourselves, acknowledge ourselves, and understand ourselves. It seems to force you to take control of your mind, and you have a choice, whether you realize it or not.

Panic

Fear of letting go of the past and the future, fear of letting go of control, even if just for a moment. Fear of the moment in which you exist, fear of consequence, fear of judgement, fear, fear, fear.

Love

Pure joy and acceptance. Free to embrace the beauty which lies in each moment, right before our eyes. This is knowing, this is freedom.

As you can see, love is much simpler than fear, and I’m all about simple. But whichever you lean to, experience it, acknowledge it, and know yourself a little better so that you may hasten the adventure towards the best version of yourself.

***

The Crone

The October chill bristled over my fingertips, that were neatly stretched around my freshly made latte. The scene was perfect, the backyard wet from an overnight rain, the grapevine slowly becoming a shadow of its former self. It’s canopy of wide green leaves, dotted with tight purple clusters, had been seized by the Crone. Her wise old fingers laced tightly around its vines, her intention a blend of graceful acknowledgment and impending doom. With the force of a feather she commands it to acknowledge its bounty, and then regress to a time of graceful slumber. There was no sound, no words were spoken, but yet it seemed that Nature whispered her story to me, under a sky of heavy, glowing darkness, through barren clusters and yellowed leaves.