Good Morning! This post comes to you from a 1am stoned stroll on Instagram. When I saw “A Star is Born,” (highly recommend it, by the way), I was super impressed by Andrew Dice Clay’s performance. I had seen his comedy in the 80’s and 90’s and enjoyed some of it, however not all. Well, sometime yesterday he posted some pics with people he clearly loves, and his comment was benign…right up until the end.

Before I continue, have a look…

See, nothing too exciting, save the last few lines. Yes folks, of course, I’m talking about the line about women, “who are open to spreading there [sic] legs have always created more opportunities for themselves and there [sic] loved ones.” Well, my response to this man, who, let’s not forget, is a comedian, who uses a certain raw-edged theme to his acts since his humble beginnings, might be slightly different than what you may be expecting.

Allow me to start with, I am a woman – traditionally educated, but also a free-thinker. Whether I agree with his logic or not, is irrelevant. There’s no doubt that there are women in this world who have successfully used their sexuality to secure their livelihood – be them strippers, actresses, businesswomen, those with political ambitions, prostitutes, etc. Many madams of the 1800’s were some of the most savvy businesswomen in history. Not to mention models who use general sexuality to sell products, or porn stars who embrace a variety of all of these professions. Like it or not…sex sells, and we’ve all bought on it. Period.

Do I think that the physical action of “spreading her legs” is all it takes? Of course not. Let’s not forget that every one of these women who choses to “spreads her legs” has a brain, a strategy, a goal. Women are not mindless creatures there to simply get grunt fucked by men to be freely given things…well, some are…and kudos to them, they work a lot less than I do.

The reality is, in the United States, we hold a lot of social norms which are Puritanical in nature, which is why we take such offense to this type of language. There’s absolutely no shame (because shame is subjective) in making the choice to use sexuality as influence, however, morally (also subjective) and legally it must be the woman’s decision…and not a requirement. One must never impact another’s free will.

Take a look at how many women, 18 and older, are using extremely risque behavior and photos to grow their Instagram following. Look how many posed photos of men with beards and a naked woman wrapped around them are out there…those ladies had to spread their legs to wrap around those men…and, if I had a body like them, I would do exactly the same…for free! So, just because you may not approve of this behavior, doesn’t mean it’s wrong, it just means it’s not for you.

That said…

There is great beauty which comes from a woman spreading her legs – pleasure, menstruation, embracing a lover, giving life, dancing, artistic significance, even simple yoga. It appears that Mr. Clay wasn’t referring to these; it seemed that he implied a mindless being using her spread legs to get a reward…then again, maybe he didn’t. Maybe he knew that when most women spread their legs, they know exactly what they want – pleasure, an emotion, perhaps a gift (often times called “dating”)…in short, a result. So before we judge Mr. Clay too harshly, why not take a step back, understand the way he thinks, and perhaps take a less judgmental look, and understand that we have been raised with different social values, with which maybe he disagrees, and maybe, just maybe, there’s some truth in his statement…a truth which we may not like, but one that must be acknowledged.

Remember, it’s not only the men here…women are just as willing to spread their legs. Ya know why? Because many men are simple creatures when it comes to sex, thus, it works. So, perhaps Mr. Clay is trying to encourage women to use the art of seduction, it’s pretty easy, as influence.

Even though this tactic isn’t for me, if you really think about it, it’s pretty damn smart, in its simplicity. If you do go this route, ladies, try not to waste it on cavemen.