I’ve decided to start writing again…I don’t really understand why I ever stop. I suppose it’s because it drains me to think about topics and, then weave words that desire to be read. But here I go…again.
“I am an adulteress.” I repeated this to myself, as I searched the reflection in the mirror for any sign that the woman I once was still existed. In just two short years, the youfulness had dwindled from my eyes, and began to show as a new dullness in both my skin and eyes reflected back to me. Apparently, all of the trials and tribulations I had endured in my first forty years didn’t take nearly the toll that just two years spent in the beautiful turmoil of passion provided.
I suppose there is still a level of naïveté that demonstrates itself, even at the age of thirty-eight. Looking back, I could equate myself to a child, desperately seeking the comfort, the safe embrace, only a parent could provide. At the time, I was as lost as a piece of driftwood, carried across the miles of open ocean, with no particular destination. All I wanted was a safe place to rest my weary heart. It was quite pathetic, in retrospect. But somehow, I convinced myself that nothing mattered, no sin too great, for the warm sanctuary of an equally aching heart would heal all indiscretions.
Some people say we need to truly believe we already have what we desire in order for it to manifest in our reality. Well, what if we are constantly slipping into other universes and realities? What if each day we see ourselves waking up in the reality that holds our most cherished desires? Each day we would be slipping closer and closer to our goals. If we can perceive life this way, maybe then we can create the belief we’ve been lacking and manifest things quicker. Might be worth a try!
Have you ever had a morning where you realize that the darkest days are behind you? You realize this because you’ve caught a glimpse of something you can’t quite explain, but know exists. It’s that moment of realization when you see so clearly that everything you perceive is reality…there are no mistakes, no missteps. You’re working toward your inner most desires. Just make certain that you know exactly what those desires truly are. Do not fear them, fear is simply another form of distrust. Trust yourself, trust your love for yourself. Everything you desire will be yours…you just have to believe in that and the world will unfold anew.
More stoney thoughts that seemed profound at the time, but may not make a ton of sense in the morning hours.
Fearing the consequences of getting what we want.
Fearing the return of natural balance – if I achieve something great, I am subjected to the natural consequence of that greatness – kind of like yin and yang. The payment, we perceive as equally great. To achieve a million dollars, the consequence would be equal to that…we perceive a million dollars as a lot of money, so our payment must be equally as expensive.
I believe that you will only manifest what makes you happy…truly happy. You cannot fear your desires for the fear of consequence. An honest desire will have no consequence. No matter what you go through achieving it or keeping it, the rewards are always better than the alternatives.
If we haven’t achieved what we desire, we must look at what thoughts are blocking us…what beliefs are preventing our desires from presenting themselves.
You simply have to believe in your desires. It doesn’t matter what you call it…if you believe you will do something, you will. If you believe your keys will show up, they will. You don’t have to understand why or how…you just know it…deeply.
I really don’t want a million dollars. That really doesn’t matter to me…but what a million dollars will bring me is exactly what I want – peace of mind…security. I want to live life calmly, happily, having fun and experiencing new people and new things. I want to experience love and peace of mind…having complete health and success. These are the only things of consequence money can bring.