I’ve decided to start writing again…I don’t really understand why I ever stop. I suppose it’s because it drains me to think about topics and, then weave words that desire to be read. But here I go…again.
“I am an adulteress.” I repeated this to myself, as I searched the reflection in the mirror for any sign that the woman I once was still existed. In just two short years, the youfulness had dwindled from my eyes, and began to show as a new dullness in both my skin and eyes reflected back to me. Apparently, all of the trials and tribulations I had endured in my first forty years didn’t take nearly the toll that just two years spent in the beautiful turmoil of passion provided.
I suppose there is still a level of naïveté that demonstrates itself, even at the age of thirty-eight. Looking back, I could equate myself to a child, desperately seeking the comfort, the safe embrace, only a parent could provide. At the time, I was as lost as a piece of driftwood, carried across the miles of open ocean, with no particular destination. All I wanted was a safe place to rest my weary heart. It was quite pathetic, in retrospect. But somehow, I convinced myself that nothing mattered, no sin too great, for the warm sanctuary of an equally aching heart would heal all indiscretions.
…and the journey continues.
(You can read where the journey began in my short-story on Amazon Kindle. “The Reluctant Medium“, by Josie de Vere)
What is your highest thought about yourself? Can you go higher? Or is this the thought that warms your heart and makes you smile knowing all will be right in your world if this thought came to pass? If so, then this is the thought you should reflect upon each day and each night. Embrace the feeling that thought gives you and trust in it. It will bring new life to you, new possibilities, new experiences.
Here’s my highest thought – great things are about to happen. Like a long-awaited reunion, I’m excited for their arrival.
Each of us was taught what was to be considered important…what possibilities were right and which were wrong. Now, our brains are unable to see all the other possibilities in the world. For example, if I perceive there is something that I want but was told that “something” was unimportant, I have learned to dismiss it as unwantable or unnecessary. It is now our obligation to ourselves to retrain our brains to see what we deem as important. Although it is truly no one’s “fault,” we didn’t choose this narrow way of seeing the world, but we can choose to change…we can choose to see what we want, why we want it, and how to get it.
To do this doesn’t take “affirming” it simply takes choosing. Choosing to see all the other information we have blocked out for so long.
Be open to seeing your choices, be open to seeing what you once did not.
I’m choosing to see things differently, I’m choosing to see different things.
I’ve heard that god…or whatever is out there communicates through feelings. I just want you to know…love is nothing short of a blessing. A gift. I have experienced the most amazing feeling of all…true love. A love that is so pure that I wanted to give myself. Which was my gift. My body, my mind, my spirit, and most of all, my love. I believe that you are worthy of me…that you deserve me…not that I’m the greatest, but I’m all I have…and that is a sacred understanding. To gift yourself to someone is no small gesture. It should be cherished. You’re worthy of happiness and true, unabashed love. You can have it all…if only you saw the possibilities. What you’re failing to see is that you keep thinking you have to solve for all your other situations and problems first…before you can be happy. What you’re missing is that solving those problems starts with solving yourself. Once you find your happiness, with whomever that might be, your other troubles will soon just melt away and be miraculously solved…because you’ll have changed your point-of-view.