About an hour ago I was asking the Universe, “After all the times you’ve proven yourself to me, why do I continue to doubt you and your power within me?”
The Present – I’m watching a show on sacred geometry and am fascinated. I never understood geometry and was never very good with ratios and measurements, either. I flashed all the way back to elementary school and realized that, even then, I overthought everything. I always needed to know “why”…before I could love to the next step.
Hang on…total side track! Yes, you read that right, it says, “…before I could love to the next step.” I was just proofing this post and saw that the word “move” was replaced with “love”!!! Are you kidding?!? Whether I accidentally pressed the L or spell-check did yet another random correction, that’s quite an interesting typo…I suppose the Universe is speaking to me once again! Love will move me, you, us to the next step!
Back on track now…
I never realized it, but I have literally questioned everything…my entire life. For example, “Why would you think to measure this point to that one…and not this one over here?” and “Why is this result significant?” You get the picture.
As an adult, I need more proof than ever. When I get proof, I say, “I’ll never doubt you again!” I’ve even bargained with the Universe by saying, “If you make this happen, I’ll never doubt you again!” Then the miraculous happens and I immediately dismiss it as coincidence…yet, I truly don’t believe in coincidence. I know…I’m my own worst enemy.
In an effort to find a solution to my ever doubting mind, I suppose I must first answer this –
When will I realize that my need to have tangible proof is fulfilled each time I manifest something I truly want?
There’s so much about this Universe we don’t understand. Look inside yourself. Find out what you stand for…what matters most to you. Do right by the individuals you encounter but don’t conform to anything you don’t believe in…governments, religions, societies, businesses, etc. Even if you find yourself on a path alone, at least you know it’s true.
Yesterday was a hard day. I went to bed feeling defeated but had the following thoughts just before I fell asleep.
Thought 1: If we are biological computers, from where do we download our information? History, perhaps? But how do we create new history? Where did we get our instincts? We must be downloading from somewhere. Are we all a creation of some greater program?
Thought 2: It’s mind blowing to perceived the infinite. Maybe we are just a bubble in an infinite number of multiverses.
Thought 3: If we combine Thoughts 1 & 2, doesn’t it stand to reason that we can tell the “programmer” that we want to experience something different in the Universe we perceive?
As “out there” as these thoughts may be, when I awoke this morning I realized that the sun rose again and offered countless possibilities. Make it a great day!
Last night I had an amazing experience…I actually “heard” my feelings. Not in the sense of audible words in my ears, it was something much deeper, and much harder to explain. You’ve heard to listen to your feelings, but have you ever actually heard them? Heard them without all the interference of your consciousness? The reality is, we try to process the information were receiving with our consciousness when we should be simply listening to the voice of our feelings.
When this happened, I realized that although I understand some things consciously…that conscious understanding does not mean I have truly listened to the voice within me. I have struggled so hard to consciously understand what life is, and what I am meant to do with mine. I have been seeking to make sense of it all so I can believe in the manifesting powers of The Universe, to trust, and have faith in my successes in this incarnation. Well, last night I discovered that I truly cannot understand if I do not listen with the right ears. Now I recognize my conscious mind as not my enemy, but a safety mechanism for this human form. My conscious and subconscious must now have the opportunity to work as one. My consciousness is part of my physical world, but my subconscious is part of my connection to something much greater. I must now move forward as trusting my higher self…for I don’t know that I ever truly believed, until now, the power of my subconscious. We have become so reactive in this physical form that we have forgotten our direct connection to God…or whatever you want to call it. Wise men have tried to tell us, but it has been lost in translation because our conscious mind has filtered too much.
How to Connect with Your Higher Self
Honestly, I have tried many times to connect with my higher self in order to gain some insight, some understanding. After my experience last night, the only way I can suggest you connect with and hear your inner-self is to “zone out.” Just zone out…almost like a mini-meditation. We do it hundreds of times a day. Only this time, be conscious enough to experience your feelings from a different place. Your mind will wander, just don’t focus in on one thought in-particular. Just let them flow and sense the emotion the best you can. It really is that simple, but I also understand that this is no easy task.
Please take my word on the fact that this is the truth, at least for me. I have been on this journey for a long time, tripping over myself. I am not a flaky person, I have always prided myself on being cemented in reality…it’s only now that I realize that what I thought was a virtue, was actually a hindrance.