I’ve decided to start writing again…I don’t really understand why I ever stop. I suppose it’s because it drains me to think about topics and, then weave words that desire to be read. But here I go…again.
“I am an adulteress.” I repeated this to myself, as I searched the reflection in the mirror for any sign that the woman I once was still existed. In just two short years, the youfulness had dwindled from my eyes, and began to show as a new dullness in both my skin and eyes reflected back to me. Apparently, all of the trials and tribulations I had endured in my first forty years didn’t take nearly the toll that just two years spent in the beautiful turmoil of passion provided.
I suppose there is still a level of naïveté that demonstrates itself, even at the age of thirty-eight. Looking back, I could equate myself to a child, desperately seeking the comfort, the safe embrace, only a parent could provide. At the time, I was as lost as a piece of driftwood, carried across the miles of open ocean, with no particular destination. All I wanted was a safe place to rest my weary heart. It was quite pathetic, in retrospect. But somehow, I convinced myself that nothing mattered, no sin too great, for the warm sanctuary of an equally aching heart would heal all indiscretions.
All it took today to get my thoughts flowing was one heated conversation about arrogant people being willfully ignorant.
Moral of the Story: If you want to write passionately, you must feel passionate about whatever you’re writing about. Simply mix cannabis with one ignorant conversation and POOF…you’ve unlocked your mind!
Well, another morning’s wake and bake has led to a bit of inspiration. Let’s see how this comes out.
The other day, when I came up with the whole “Writer’s Unlock” idea…I was having a conversation with myself. It was remarkable…it was me, only it didn’t seem like it was me. I was so focused on the conversation, those rude, random thoughts couldn’t interrupt. This morning, though, I could feel the conversation brewing in my mind, but those pushy thoughts were just too loud. A bit frustrated, I decided to try and briefly meditate. I turned my focus from my thoughts to my breath…which usually results in my hyper-analyzing my breathing and freaks me out. Fortunately, not this time. I just focused on the result of my breathing – my stomach rising and falling, the cool feeling in my nostrils as the air went in, the warmer feeling as the air went out. I focused on the results not the actual action. That’s when it hit me –
Unlocking the brain is more about meditation, silencing the surrounding stimuli, to allow your mind to wander and introduce new thoughts which will guide you. It introduces you to your subconscious, the side of you you only meet in your dreams.
Here’s a great example of a random thought I had while breaking down a different thought. (Tinking about this process actually sounds funny to me…serious, yet funny.)
(These will probably change…)
Step 1: Partake
Step 2: Let it sink in
Step 3: As your mind begins to wander, write down your thought, no matter how scattered (see above)
Step 4: Focus on those words, tear them apart
Step 5: Rewrite. Reconstruct the thought
Step 6: Leave it and move into another thought. Repeat
Step 7: When sober, review all thoughts. Keep the ones that still resonate, and let go of the ones that don’t. You’ll have more thoughts next time, I promise.
I guess what I’m about to say is more positively called Writer’s Unlock…rather than Writer’s Block. Not sure why I feel the need to bastardize my creative process…I guess old habits die hard.
Anyway, sometimes I have a great thought, write it down, end up unwinding the thought a thousand times and extracting its essence…only to end up with something I question, yet feel passionate about. Then I sober up and determine whether or not all that mental energy (and sometimes torment) was worth it. Success Rate: ~33%